From Prayers Plainly Spoken, by Stanley Hauerwas:
“Crucified Lord, your creation is full of pain. Our lives are filled with pain. We must appear happy, to be OK, to others and ourselves. After all, we know no one likes to be around people in pain. So we cannot even be around ourselves. We refuse to remember because memory is just another name for pain––dull, meaningless pain that makes us numb. But you would have us be a passionate people, filled with the Spirit, possessed by memory. We fear that if we remember, the pain will return and kill our present. Give us courage, which is just another name for friends, to stare down the terror in our own and our neighbors’ lives, that we may be your joyous people. Amen.”
In memory of my dear cousin, Mark Winn, today being the anniversary of his death. Thanks be to God for giving us the strength to remember with joy.
Curious Heretic 
Thanks, Jason. You’re right – that says it all. We have to appear to be okay. In solitude, though, it’s a different story. I hope one day I can just dwell on the times we stayed up on Christmas eve and contemplated what Santa would bring us that year instead of being stuck in a hospital room on April 10, 2005, staring at blurry faces in disbelief. Someday. . . I’m just glad for each new year when that day gets farther and farther away.